There's something important I need to mention, because it's something of a miracle.
I have been feeling really healthy in Oaxaca. My skin is clearer, my energy is higher, my appetite is normal and after I adjust to being awake....my stomach doesn't hurt. I don't have crazy nausea. I don't feel sick all day.
I feel really good. Even after I eat. Even after I eat street food.
This is the way I should always feel.
I've really been enjoying this trip - primarily for the fact that I'm getting to learn so much more about myself every single day. And I'm learning to appreciate me without restriction.
That sounds weird and cliche, and I even tried to write out exactly what about me I'm appreciating...but it sounded weird. The best way I can phrase it is this: through the various experiences I'm having, I am able to solidly say I know what is best for me in regards to different things (such as diet and routine), that patterns and schools of thoughts have been reinforced, that I'm allowed to be confident, and that there is as much to life as I've thought there was.
I'm allowed to sandwich myself on the median between traffic and enjoy it without feeling silly.
I'm allowed to like the music I like without feeling like I had to defend myself.
I'm allowed to appreciate the aesthetics of something that I might fundamentally disagree with.
I'm comfortable being human, and I am allowed to love the aspect of myself that really just loves people.
I feel like I'm not making sense.
Here's the thing, for a while I've been feeling like a square peg in a round hole. Here, right now, I'm a square peg in a square hole. And the people around me are whatever they want to be. Round, stars, triangles, octagons. And I'm allowed to be square, and I'm allowed to like what squares like, and believe what squares believe, and think the way squares think.
---- But that's enough of that. What about my day!?
Well, it included a lot of interesting conversation (books! politics! excursions!). It included plates full of good food (bananas! guava! enchiladas! sauteed veggies! tamales!). It included a combined-intercambio...and a 3 hours study session at Cafe Brujula (near the Zocalo) which I hope actually helps me.
Right now, it definitely doesn't feel that way. But sometimes you just need to sleep on what you've studied.
Today also included making a mask for Day of the Dead. At first, I thought I'd make a calavera, but I decided on a mosaic pattern instead...and I've got a snake on it as well (crawling across my face). It's super cool - and it's also fun to see everyone elses super cool masks! We had to mold our faces with this special stuff in order to make the masks, so they actually kind of look like us. Which makes everything that much creepier.
And, maybe - just maybe - today included me humming that song about the misty mountains to myself (from The Hobbit) every time I looked a the local misty mountain range here!
I have been feeling really healthy in Oaxaca. My skin is clearer, my energy is higher, my appetite is normal and after I adjust to being awake....my stomach doesn't hurt. I don't have crazy nausea. I don't feel sick all day.
I feel really good. Even after I eat. Even after I eat street food.
This is the way I should always feel.
I've really been enjoying this trip - primarily for the fact that I'm getting to learn so much more about myself every single day. And I'm learning to appreciate me without restriction.
That sounds weird and cliche, and I even tried to write out exactly what about me I'm appreciating...but it sounded weird. The best way I can phrase it is this: through the various experiences I'm having, I am able to solidly say I know what is best for me in regards to different things (such as diet and routine), that patterns and schools of thoughts have been reinforced, that I'm allowed to be confident, and that there is as much to life as I've thought there was.
I'm allowed to sandwich myself on the median between traffic and enjoy it without feeling silly.
I'm allowed to like the music I like without feeling like I had to defend myself.
I'm allowed to appreciate the aesthetics of something that I might fundamentally disagree with.
I'm comfortable being human, and I am allowed to love the aspect of myself that really just loves people.
I feel like I'm not making sense.
Here's the thing, for a while I've been feeling like a square peg in a round hole. Here, right now, I'm a square peg in a square hole. And the people around me are whatever they want to be. Round, stars, triangles, octagons. And I'm allowed to be square, and I'm allowed to like what squares like, and believe what squares believe, and think the way squares think.
---- But that's enough of that. What about my day!?
Well, it included a lot of interesting conversation (books! politics! excursions!). It included plates full of good food (bananas! guava! enchiladas! sauteed veggies! tamales!). It included a combined-intercambio...and a 3 hours study session at Cafe Brujula (near the Zocalo) which I hope actually helps me.
Right now, it definitely doesn't feel that way. But sometimes you just need to sleep on what you've studied.
Today also included making a mask for Day of the Dead. At first, I thought I'd make a calavera, but I decided on a mosaic pattern instead...and I've got a snake on it as well (crawling across my face). It's super cool - and it's also fun to see everyone elses super cool masks! We had to mold our faces with this special stuff in order to make the masks, so they actually kind of look like us. Which makes everything that much creepier.
And, maybe - just maybe - today included me humming that song about the misty mountains to myself (from The Hobbit) every time I looked a the local misty mountain range here!
2 comments:
Very cool day pretty girl!
You are not a square peg in a square hole. You are a unicorn-peg in a unicorn-peg-shaped hole.:) And I can totally see you humming that song. I love that your loving yourself, and loving being yourself. It's an empowering feeling.
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