Spanish Practice. Sorry!

Yo necesito hacer esto. Tengo un examen manana, y un otro examen en varias semanas... Se llama el "LPE" or the Language Proficiency Exam. Si yo no paso esto examen... entonces tengo tomar la clase "SPAN 1004" mientras tomando mi senior project y dos clases otras.

Tengo miedo, porque hoy yo no puedo estudiar! Mis pensamientos estan dispersos. Mi mente es en el futuro, en el verano..!

Esto va a ser trabajo duro. Explicare los verbos y la gramatica a tu en espanol.

Primero: El preterito. Usa el preterito explicar or describir algo que ocurrio una vez. Usa el preterito para definir un evento con un final definido. Por ejemplo: "Yo naci en 1988" o "mi hermano hablo con sus amigos para dos horas." The preterite is used to define something with a definite beginning and end. It happened, then it was over. Like birth. I was born - then it was done; "past actions that are seen as completed."

Segundo: El imperfecto. Usa el imperfecto describir un evento que repita. Por ejemplo: Comiamos ajuntos todos los dias. Tambien, usa el imperfecto cuando describiendo el tiempo/la hora y hablando sobre la edad de una persona.

Espero que yo sabo las palabras que yo necesito pasar el examen!

Una cosa que lucha con es el verbo "haber" - haber. Que es esto verbo haber?! En realidad la significa es "to have" pero no en el contexto como "tener."

Haber: he, has, ha, hemos, han.
"yo he comido." - i have eaten.

why!? why!!?

Voy a escribir sobre mi vida y uso como muchos verbos que puedo!

Hola. Me llamo Nikki y tengo 21 anos. Yo naci en Alemania en 1988. Tengo 3 hermanos y 4 hermanas. Tambien, tengo dos gatos! Mis padres se llaman Ron y Shelley. Mi padre estaba en las fuerzas amadas. Mi familia y yo viajabamos todo el mundo.

Me gusta escribir, hacer ejercicio y cocinar. Mi heroe es Chef Ramsay y yo quiero conocerlo. Me gusta animales, y vacaciones.

Si puedo tomar una vacacion a cualquier lugar viajaria a europa. En europa yo comeria comida bien.

I let the daisies die but I have yet to throw them out.

Words used to line up neatly
Forming simple prose and poetry
But my talent died - eluded me
I've lost all of my creativity

In a box of black and gloom
Word flowers aren't able to bloom
To feel means inevitable doom
My heart deserted and my mind an empty room

To say goodbye to a soul friend
To pretend the wound will mend.
When it comes to loss there is no end
when it comes to loss there is no end

Will I find comfort in these lyrics?

Jack Johnson and Matt Costa
Lullaby

When you're so lonely lying in bed
Night's closed it's eyes but you can't rest your head
Everyone's sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
And if you are waiting, waiting for me
Know I'll be home soon darling I guarantee
I'll be home Sunday just in one week
Dry up your tears if you start to weep
And sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Lullaby, I'm not nearby
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Don't you cry, no don't you cry
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Cause when I arrive dear it won't be that long
No it won't seem like anytime that I've been gone
It ain't the first time it won't be the last
Won't you remember these words to help the time pass?
So when you're so lonely lying in bed
Night's closed it's eyes but you can't rest your head
Everyone's sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby, sing this lullaby
Sing this lullaby to yourself

Anything you can do...

This Week I will:

1.) Do every dish in my sink. Sometimes I get lazy at the end at leave a few forks in there... not this time!
2.) Learn how to budget both time and money
3.) Pet a penguin in Chicago (no, seriously! I am! I will post a picture)
4.) Think about gluten free cinnamon rolls
5.) Enjoy the warm weather
6.) Pack a duffle bag with precision
7.) Say an extra prayer after my bedtime prayers
8.) Wear my hair up before I cut it off again
9.) Let my feelings lead the way - for better or worse.
10.) Talk to someone named Talmage
11.) Stalk a facebook page of someone I don't know
12.) Ghost hunt on the vacant 3rd floor of my 200 yr old apartment bldg.
13.) Think about Chef Ramsay because I love him.
14.) A homework assignment in Spanish about a game called Quadrille
15.) Learn how to pronounce Quadrille
16.) Use the magic eraser
17.) Buy a lint roller
18.) Eat tomato soup
19.) Talk to a group of kids in New Zealand via skype
20.) Visit a bank robbed by Jesse James

I Am

I Am

I am too many things
I wonder how to compartmentalize each emotion
I hear the shuffling of my thoughts
I see blank spaces waiting to be filled
I want to be far away from where I am.
I am too many things

I pretend that I have control
I feel happy and sad, sure and unsure all at once.
I touch keys. computer keys. piano keys. car keys.
I worry that I may unintentionally hurt people
I cry because I miss Jamie
I am too many things

I understand that God gives us the answers.
I say that it's okay to feel your feelings outloud
I dream about eating with world class chefs.
I try to remember who I am
I hope that you don't mind my very elementary "I Am" poem
I am too many things



-----------------------
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days

The In-Between.

I've been in a strange place recently.... and I can't say I've been enjoying it.

I feel like the term "growing pains" has taken on a whole new meaning.

For the first time, primarily because of Jamie's passing, I've taken a step back and started seriously evaluating the things that I want for my life and for my future. To be honest, I hate doing things like this... and while it was going to have to happen sooner or later, I wish it had been later. Not only because of the circumstances that have caused me to re-evaluate myself and my decisions, but... I don't exactly feel like I'm ready for all the changes that are about to/ are occurring in my life.

A lot of what has been going on has caused me to micro analyze my interactions with other people. How does this make me feel? Why does it make me feel this way? Is this healthy: yes or no? What would I have done two months ago in this situation, and what am I going to to do now?

Believe it or not I spend a lot of my time mulling over how my words and actions will affect others and the way they feel. I want the people I care about to know that I care about them - and I always want to let them know. I never want to hurt them, I want them to know everything I'm doing - I want to tell them about my day to day events. I want to let them know what I'm doing tomorrow, next week, next month! I want to let them in on every boring and mundane and lousy facet of my life.

The flip side, and this may be unreasonable, is that I expect the same from other people. The worst part is that (in general) the people who claim to care the most don't do those things for me. It could be because they just don't think about it - sure. But in my disturbed little brain it's because they don't trust me. Or that they're intentionally trying to hurt me. Or because they want to force a reaction out of me.

It makes me uncomfortable. I know where these reactions stem from... I do. And a large part of me wishes I just didn't give a damn about the people around me. But I do. I care, maybe a little too much. I've always been a victim of my own standards for people. I set the bar incredibly high, but only as high as I'm capable of 'performing' or whatever. Sure. That sounds like I'm tooting my own horn or whatever as some incredible friend or something - but ... I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I put 100 percent of me and my effort into any type of relationship, I fully expect the same from other people. If I put in 30 percent, then I expect that I'll receive 30 percent from someone else, etc.

My struggle is ... maybe someone is giving 100%. But that's just not good enough for me. Is that grounds to walk away? Or are they not really giving 100%? I can't assume they are, because I know what 100% looks like. Or... at least...my definition.

Or maybe they perceive my 100% to be less than their 100%?

-----

all in all.... this is just one of the many weird things running through my head.

the worst part is, people (if people read this at all) will think "is she talking about me?" then they will take it how they choose. and people almost are always on the defense.

So here: no. this is not about any particular person. This is a general concern. This is me trying to work through who I am in this little text box. If you feel the same way ever, that would be so great to know... because then I'll know I'm not alone! And if I'm crazy, tell me... and help me figure out a way to work through it. Do I think too much? Should I start just going with feelings only? Help me out.

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Dr. Jekyll and Nikki Hyde.

A hole- drilled through the bottom of the shell which is me.
Draining all of the growth, potential and life.
Waiting for the final blow to crush me into a fine white powder.
I will blow away into the wind.