The Angry Girl Rant.

I am not a cautionary tale.

I am your neighbor, your cousin, your daughter, friend, niece, sister, aunt... and I am an independent thinker, and I'm living my life as authentically as I can.

Unfortunately, there are those who exist in my life who find my way of thinking and living to be less than what they would imagine is acceptable.

Well, I'm just going to take off my filter and say one thing to you (*you* being a general, multiple bodied *you*):

I don't care what you think. The fact that you are putting my life under your microscope only tells me one thing: you want out of your own, and into mine. Otherwise, you wouldn't be meddling. You wouldn't have things to say.

Your disappointing behavior is bleeding jealousy everywhere.

My honest thoughts are...if you can't support me and/or at least try to understand the decisions I have made, am making, and will make...then you're just looking for one more thing to distract you from your own unfulfilling lot; I refuse to be that person for you.

And now, here's my unsolicited advice from me to you: wake up tomorrow, and do something different. Ask the questions you've been too afraid to ask. Do the thing you've been too afraid to do. Change the life you're tired of living.

But stay the hell away from mine until you've come to an adult understanding of what it means to live and let live.

Puzzle Pieces

Teaching has made me a different person. I see things from perspectives I have never seen things before.

I've been reminded that while, yes, teaching is hard...it's also very scary. I am in charge of the lives of students all day, every day, 5 days a week. But, that's something I already knew.

I'm seeing things from so many angles, I can barely handle it sometimes. Somehow, I have to be able to understand and accept the girl who has no compassion for others while simultaneously comforting and creating a safe space for the young man going through a serious identity crisis - sometimes while this girl is confronting the young man. I have to love the student who refuses to stand for the pledge as much as I love the student who wants to shove the U.S.A's conservative politics down everyone's throats.

And, to tell you the truth - that part isn't so hard.

The hard part is convincing other people that all of these different personalities and flawed youth and perfect youth and sensitive youth are all worth loving. The hard part is trying to convince other people to see how what they may be saying is (or could be) irreparably damaging someone else - even if that is not the intended consequence.

I'll burden you with my most recent plight: I feel like I am not hearing voices of compassion for those affected by tragedy so much as I am hearing demands being made by those unaffected. Now, I'm a grown up. I understand that we want and need to discuss our beliefs and opinions about guns and God or lack-there-of.

But I can't help but notice the missing voice in all of this - the people who might be getting tramped on.

I'm thinking specifically of Atheists - but I suppose the Muslims or Buddhists or any other non-Christian faith may fall under this umbrella - how those families must be feeling to be hearing again and again "lack of [CHRISTIAN] God has allowed for these things to happen."

The lack of a christian god is being used synonymously with "lack of morals" and "lack of being able to discern right from wrong" and "lack of self control" and "inability to empathize."

Do you think, out of the 26 families affected by the most recent tragedy, that there is not one family of Atheist or non-Christian beliefs?

What message are we sending those families? That their child deserved to die? That they were just bringing their child up in a way where something like that was just bound to happen in their life anyway...? That they are a moral-less people? That somehow, Christians have it figured out better than non-Christians?

I don't think a lack of God is our issue.

I think a lack of human decency is.