You open up to the world, tell everyone "Hey! I'm afraid! I'm insecure about this thing!" and what does the world do? It kicks you when you're down.
I recently blogged about how I so badly want people to view me as their intellectual equals. Well, I guess that was the wrong thing to say because....today I got my MTLE Content Area Exam scores. I passed part one.
I failed part two.
Let it be known that I am mortified. Absolutely horrified. I am devastatingly embarrassed.
Sure, tests may not in any way be an accurate measure of someone's knowledge, but that doesn't matter a whole lot because, at the end of the day, the tests are still what matter. They count. Those tests decide what and who I get to be. And, right now, I get to be the one who had to take it x amount of times. I'm the one who, despite having a degree in the field, can't pull it together enough to get the minimum score. So yeah - tests may suck, but I am still the one left feeling like a complete idiot because I couldn't choose the right.freaking.answer.
So, I guess this is just life's way of telling me I am truly intellectually inferior. And, if not intellectually inferior, I'm still the world's worst test taker.
If I'm still allowed to become a teacher someday, I am going to make sure to do this to make sure my students never, ever fail a test:
2 comments:
Sometimes it's good to fail a test. I failed my drivers test the first time I took it. I was so nervous; but it wasn't just the test; I was a nervous driver--test or no test. It was good that I failed at that time because I really wasn't ready to be out in the road. Maybe there's something that you're supposed to gain by taking it again. Besides, ultimately, who cares if you had to take it twice, or even three times. If you pass, you pass. :) Love ya
The world will sometimes take what you are confident with and ruin that too. I guess there are just lessons to be learned. And I saw a phrase that you need to say aloud to yourself: sometimes when I'm depressed, I just stop being depressed and be awesome instead. You are awesome and the test is stupid!
Post a Comment