Life Is Like That

I think I am living in the slow lane.

A few years ago, every person I knew happened to be getting engaged. "Great!" I thought. "This means lots of parties, shopping for embarrassing bridal gifts, helping plan weddings!" Then...I got tired of it. Engagement after engagement after engagement! Every time I received an engagement announcement I would say, "And another one bites the dust."

At that point, the jealousy over the fact that I wasn't living in the fast lane hadn't kicked in yet. I was like 19...marriage wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

Then came all the weddings. Happy couples holding hands, kissing. White dresses, little flower girls, beautiful receptions...love so thick you could cut it with a knife like a wedding cake...

The jealousy didn't really start sinking in, though, until people started emailing and posting up pictures of their new homes and lives together. "Our first married meal!" "Our awesome hotel during our honey moon." "Our new couch!"

All of a sudden, I wanted that. I wanted the happy home, the new furniture, the life long companion to travel, laugh, cry, eat and have creative cooking competitions with.

Little did I realize how quickly ideas can change in so few years.

I feel like I am living in the slow lane. I'm still waiting to take exit #1 "engagement..." when everyone else has now moved on to exit #4 "have children..."

While I am overjoyed that my friends have found such immense amounts of happiness, I find myself wondering when I'm going to get to feel all that happiness for myself?