Happy Birthday Jamie

On Feb 11 2010 one of my closest friends on the planet died in a tragic bike accident.

Today, April 27, is his birthday.

He had a smile that lit up the world, a talent for finding odd people to do odd things, a great love for music. He was ambitious and steadfast and honest and downright hilarious. He was always kind. He was a faithful serviceman - he was incredibly smart, too. He married a beautiful woman who matched him in all those things (and possibly even excelled him at a few). He lived a genuine, real, amazing life.

He is still a shining example to me today.

Life Is Like That

I think I am living in the slow lane.

A few years ago, every person I knew happened to be getting engaged. "Great!" I thought. "This means lots of parties, shopping for embarrassing bridal gifts, helping plan weddings!" Then...I got tired of it. Engagement after engagement after engagement! Every time I received an engagement announcement I would say, "And another one bites the dust."

At that point, the jealousy over the fact that I wasn't living in the fast lane hadn't kicked in yet. I was like 19...marriage wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

Then came all the weddings. Happy couples holding hands, kissing. White dresses, little flower girls, beautiful receptions...love so thick you could cut it with a knife like a wedding cake...

The jealousy didn't really start sinking in, though, until people started emailing and posting up pictures of their new homes and lives together. "Our first married meal!" "Our awesome hotel during our honey moon." "Our new couch!"

All of a sudden, I wanted that. I wanted the happy home, the new furniture, the life long companion to travel, laugh, cry, eat and have creative cooking competitions with.

Little did I realize how quickly ideas can change in so few years.

I feel like I am living in the slow lane. I'm still waiting to take exit #1 "engagement..." when everyone else has now moved on to exit #4 "have children..."

While I am overjoyed that my friends have found such immense amounts of happiness, I find myself wondering when I'm going to get to feel all that happiness for myself?

The Way The World Turns

The world knows him as Wiz Khalifa.
There are a few of us who know him by a different name: Cameron Thomaz.

It was brought to my attention this morning that this particular Cameron Thomaz was the same one I attended 6th grade with at Arnn Elementary School in Japan.

My initial reaction was a loud laugh. I thought, "No way. It can't possibly be the same kid." I did my fair share of googling and wiki'ing just to be sure...and then I noticed, in a picture, the scar on his arm. He told me about that scar one day when we were kids. He got in a bike accident and his arm went through a window. They had to graft skin (from his butt/thigh) onto his arm.

I bet you didn't know that about Wiz Khalifa :)

Another fun fact: his family got 2 puppies when we were in the 6th grade. One was named Nikki (just like me!) and the other one was named "G" because (in the words of Cameron himself) "That's how much they cost."

It's fun to see that he has reached success in his life. He was a nice kid, and a good friend. He is a great example of how anyone can achieve their goals. Congrats Cam! We're all rooting for you :)

The Ghost

Why is it that you leave me wordless?
Everything I see speaks poetry to my soul.
But when I go to write of you,
I am left with an empty page.

Are you empty inside?
Why is it that you leave me wordless?

Utah and my love-hate relationship.

I love a lot of things about Utah.

The sun shines most of the time, the mountains are beautiful, it smells nice. The people are generally friendly. Everyone has a dog. Many and most of my friends and family live here. The ballet is here. Even my job is here (telecommuting).

But for some reason I have this odd resistance to the place. It's too crowded. People get married too quickly and too young. You can't go anywhere without hearing a baby cry. There aren't enough healthy food options. The Mormon culture (within Utah) tends to overwhelm people with a sense of religious elitism. You know you're an outsider if you aren't an active LDS member.

Usually I get tired of being in Utah after about 4 days. I feel exhausted and ready to get back on the plane!

This time, it's different. I don't want to leave. I wouldn't mind staying all summer. All year. I have things to do, people I don't see enough.

Stupid Utah.