I Am
I am too many things
I wonder how to compartmentalize each emotion
I hear the shuffling of my thoughts
I see blank spaces waiting to be filled
I want to be far away from where I am.
I am too many things
I pretend that I have control
I feel happy and sad, sure and unsure all at once.
I touch keys. computer keys. piano keys. car keys.
I worry that I may unintentionally hurt people
I cry because I miss Jamie
I am too many things
I understand that God gives us the answers.
I say that it's okay to feel your feelings outloud
I dream about eating with world class chefs.
I try to remember who I am
I hope that you don't mind my very elementary "I Am" poem
I am too many things
-----------------------
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
3 comments:
I wish I could express myself as well as you do. You have a gift for that. I would only be able to come up with something like "I Am Mad" "I Am Sad"...and I'd sound like a Dr Suess book. You have a true talent.
This is such an honest poem Nikki and it really extends to all ages and every walk of life. I don't know anyone who ever has it all figured out.
I have thought a lot about your last poem as well that talked about having expectations. I think that in dealing with most people in our lives we have to accept THEIR 100%. Even if it isn't a high as standard as we think it should be.
But when it comes to very close relationships, ie friends, boyfriends, husbands, we have to surround ourselves with people who can fill us up by meeting our expectations at least most of the time. People whose best is our best as well. Otherwise you spend a lifetime with friends who never fully meet your needs, and relationships where you are always disappointed.
I wish I didn't know what that was like...but unfortunately I do.
I express a lot of angst in your blog. Other than Jamies passing, I thought college was supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Where is the joy?
sorry I meant to write that YOU express a lot of angst in your blog! Not me!!!
I have enough angst in my own life!:)
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