What's the reason?

A year ago, I would have told you "Everything happens for a reason."

Now, as I ponder on this little phrase...I find myself with a new train of thought. I don't think everything happens for a reason. I think some things happen because people are selfish or unprepared (unnecessary divorce, robberies at gas stations, kids picking on other kids, getting a detention for not bringing an assignment to school).

I don't think people are selfish for a reason. I think they are just selfish.
People may be unprepared for a reason, but that reason could be that they are lazy or irresponsible.
I don't think people are lazy for a reason.

I have a hard time believing that rape, genocide, child molestation, illness, kidnapping, murder etc... happen for a reason.

I think some things happen because there are people who are prepared, ready, financially able, loving (healthy marriages, happy children, adoption, financial stability, happiness in general).

I don't think people are prepared "for a reason." I think that's just in the fiber of their being.
I don't think people are financially able for a mystical reason: it's because they work hard.

I don't think God makes them that way. I think they make themselves that way. God doesn't make people drug addicts, God doesn't make people famous. People make themselves what they are.

So ... then ...what "reasons" are these types of things happening for. For us to learn? For us to grow? For us to become compassionate towards other?

Don't we learn the same lessons from lesser offenses - different experiences?

I think that some things might happen for a reason. But, more than anything, I think humanity needs these types of things to happen for a reason.

I think we make reasons for things that occur. Generally, I think we make reasons for things in times of need as a coping mechanism. I think people use "reasons" to explain other people's shortcomings ("your house is in foreclosure but it wouldn't be if you made a fast offering. Your lack of faith is the reason for your trials!) <---rude!

And I don't think that it's bad to want things to happen for a reason. I just don't think I agree.

I don't think I met Matt for a reason. I think I met him, and I'm very much in love and happy and I'm glad we met. I don't think I met him to convert him, or to bring a specific child into the world, or to have a learning experience.

I don't think I met Jamie for a reason. I think we were just in the right/same place at the right/same time (and I'm ever grateful we were). He served as a comforter, jokester, texter and a dear friend for a long time. I don't think we were thrown into each others paths for that reason. I think we were just fortunate to be walking in the same direction. I don't think he died for a reason. I think the accident was just that - an accident.

I DO believe these occurrences serve a purpose after the fast. I think Jamie's death resulted in Heaven earning an extra missionary/angel earlier than expected. It reminded many of us to love and cherish our time/relationships together. I don't think these lessons were the reason Jamie died.

I think Matt's and my relationship serves a purpose (love each other, have fun, get married someday, have kids, grow old, die...circle of life purpose). I don't think all those things are the reasons we're together!

Confused? :)
PS: it's okay to disagree.