Where's Waldo.

He is a nice enough guy.
He just likes to yell and tell you how good you are at failing...
He likes to tell you all the reasons why you may never amount to anything, or why people may never love you.
He'll tell you who you should be like, and list the reasons they are so great and you are so not.
Then he likes to tell you how no one ever remembers the good/nice things he does, and that he is always the bad guy.
He'll remind you of how you're killing him and then asking for money without blinking twice (even though I know I'm terrified of taking any more than is necessary for survival).
He'll tell you how you act like an idiot, how you are selfish, and how you hate your mother.
Then when all is said and done, he'll hug you and tell you he loves you and expects that it will bandaid the emotional beating and the self esteem depleting.
Wrong answer.