When You Give a Mouse a Cookie...

My students are 12 - 13 years old. They're on the threshold - you know, still watching iCarly, playing make believe and sleeping with cartoon themed sheets and pillow cases - but toeing the line. They're starting to wear make up and curling their hair, experiencing life at such a heightened state that everything is something that could possibly end their very existence.

It's cute.

I like that they are on the threshold. They aren't afraid to be good at school. It's not too cool to be smart, yet. They don't ignore you if they see you on the street, and they openly admit their need for help, love and affirmation.

And, like 70% of the time, they have such innocent senses of humor.

Recently, I expressed my undying love for Thor to the class. This week, I received several valentines from Thor...notes were taped to my computer that expressed my love for Thor, my smart board was tagged with Thor's name and hearts...

It makes me happy to know that this really trivial piece of information brings them so much joy.

I better come up with another one, fast. Next week, poor Thor will be old news.

----

Things I heard this week that made me happy:

- Ms. Hansen, can I schedule lunch with you next week? I really need to talk through some things, and you're the only adult in the building I trust.

- Thanks for making my first year at a new school so easy. I was really nervous, and your support and encouragement has been really helpful.

- It'd be really cool if you came on this summer trip with the organization I volunteer with. I wouldn't even get tired of having my teacher on my summer break because you're pretty cool.

- Can I hang out in your room? I'm having a really hard day. 

Will They Know?

As a teacher in a city-school, I have my bakers dozen of kids that make me cry. They make me cry for different reasons. I cry when they exasperate me. I cry when they distract the class from learning. I cry when I think about the system that is failing them. I cry when they fail. I cry when they succeed. I cry when they cry.

Tonight, I have one young man in mind. I knew 5 weeks ago that this would be a student who I would cry over.

The first days, he was hesitant to do anything. I could see his frustrations with schoolwork boiling up into his eyes and spilling out in a variety of ways: tears, dancing and singing, throwing stuff, fighting. Everyday with this young man has been an absolute battle.

Two weeks ago, we had an open-notes quiz. He had all the notes in his binder, but they were so disorganized he didn't want to look through them. Slowly, we went through and pulled them all out and when he realized he had enough notes to get a B on the quiz, the biggest smile came across his face and he looked at me and said, "Oh. I can do this."

Yes, I thought. Yes - you can. You've always been able to do this. But for him to recognize that in himself was the key. It was a pivotal moment in our teacher-student relationship, and his relationship with his schoolwork.

Over the course of the next few days, he handed in all of his assignments. The effort he'd put into them was obvious, and he beamed at me as he handed them in.

"I bet these ones will be as good as my quiz!"

This young man is tender-hearted, but he's impulsive. Like most 12 year old boys, he acts before he thinks. He sees a friend in the hall, he's going to go to the hall. He feels like chatting with his buddy 6 rows over, he's going to get up and chat with his buddies. He hates the girl behind him? He is going to tell her, and when she comes back with "Boy, I'mma slap the shit out of you" he stands up and meets her request for battle.

This week, his impulsivity got the best of him.

5 weeks of piecing together the puzzle of this young man - so, so delicately - has been shattered. His eagerness and desire to please - to be included, to be heard in this world....those things took over.

He brought a knife to school. Kids were threatened.

It's heartbreaking. Just as we were making progress. Just as he was beginning to believe in himself, just as he was starting to understand that you can play the game of school without getting played yourself - that classrooms can be a place where we learn and grow and laugh and love and cry and live...

Over. Before it even started.

So I worry. I cry for him. I wonder - will there be another teacher in his future who will give him the time and space he needs to grow? Will they keep him in the classroom and let him know that he belongs there - not in the office? Will they let his behaviors keep him from learning?

Will they let his behaviors keep them from trying to teach him?

Superlatives

I left school yesterday feeling pretty sick. Some virus has been hitting the students & teachers at Anthony pretty hard, and it is my turn.

But, even in my hour of illness, I found it absolutely essential to keep my promise to the students I taught at Armstrong - and so I put on my sweater and braved a high school football game. Well, part of one anyway. I left after an hour. I just stayed long enough for the kids to see me.

This morning, I'm paying for that little excursion. But it seems a teacher's work never ends because, despite the fever and the other stuff, I'm sitting on my floor surrounded by vocabulary story-quizzes and student research for the quarter final project.

And you know how I am...I hate to be selfish and keep these little gems of student work to myself. So I'm back...with some funny student stuff, and a short photo essay that illustrates my week. Enjoy.

*Weird side note: I told the students exactly how much work they needed to do for an a/b/c/d/f and it was amazing at how many students elected to get a b/c of their own free will! Especially because if they'd used one or two more words in context correctly, they'd have gotten an A....

Student Research:

Who are you researching? Ellen Degeneres
What have they done to make a positive change? Well, she's gay. So obviously she supports gay right.

Who are you researching? Abraham Lincoln
What have they done to make a positive change: Tried to end slavery (and kill every vampire in America).

Best one-liners from the vocab story-quizzes:

- Then all of a sudden my excitement abated when my friend got pissed.
- My sister and I were vexed by the malevolent George Bush.
- The malevolent and languid man, who was the epitome of a behemoth, woke up in his scintillating, yet derelict, house feeling vexed - though it was nebulous as to why; his ephemeral temper about this subject shortly abated when he got up, absconded with his roomates wallet and usurped the ring of power from Sauron.
(Yes, that 7th grader really wrote every word in one sentence).

Most common sentence used:
It was behemoth.

The music video we watched and analyzed this week (which became a huge hit and now my students walk around singing it):

The video that got the most smart phones taken away this week:


My week in photos:

Word of the Day: Languid

If you would have walked by my window at around 6 pm yesterday evening, you would have found me cross-legged on the floor, sobbing over a stubbed toe.

But the tears weren't really about the stubbed toe at all. I was crying because it was - as they say - the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'd had a rough day. Week...2 weeks. I've been having a rough few weeks. Your first year of teaching is no joke...

Anyway, yesterday I had a substitute teacher. The whole English department did! We were on a "data retreat" where we spent the whole day in a long meeting about MYP, IEP's, GTT, IB, FI...WTF? IDK.

In the afternoon, there was some planning time. So that was nice.

As I was saying, it was a long day. I walked away from it feeling this much more inadequate and that much more like I'm breaking all my students, and ever so slightly irked that my life has seemingly disappeared. School, home + chores, grading, sleep, school!

And then I stubbed my toe. I'd had enough! So I cried for an hour without being able to articulate why. In fact, I couldn't articulate anything at all.

So as you can imagine, I got ready for work this morning in a languid fashion. I was unsure of how I would reign in my already rambunctious kids after a day-long-party with a sub. But when I walked into my room, I was greeted with a blackboard filled with drawings like this:

(this one is actually a few days old, but I forgot to take pictures of the ones today).

They said things like, "We miss you Ms. Hansen - period 1" and "Tristen loves Ms. Hansen" and "we love you!" and "Ms. Hansen is the most awesome teacher ever."

When they actually arrived in classes I found out that the sub:
1.) called a student in first hour (my perfect class) a slut. uhm...what?
2.) made her own rules despite me leaving her our class norms.
3.) referred to herself as the rockstar sub.
4.) allowed students in 6th hour to get into a physical altercation that left other students feeling unsafe.

Needless to say, the students were happier than ever to see me. There were many requests that I "never, ever leave again."

Of course, they felt differently at the end of the hour. But that doesn't stop them from drawing hearts for me. <3 p="p">

To Teach

To remind myself why I'm doing this:

I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends.

School has been in session now for 7 days (I subtracted the weekend/holiday). Everyday as I am leaving I think to myself, "Gee, Nikki. You really ought to sit down and write about what you're doing. Write about what happened today." So I sit down. I grab a pen. I open my laptop.

Whatever.

I try to write, but nothing comes.

Okay. That's a lie. Lots of things come to mind when I sit down to write, but I can't put the words together in a fine, prose-like fashion. If I let the words loose, they will come out jumbled and jagged. Unruly and loud. They'll slip and stumble instead of aligning neatly.

Actually, that sounds a lot like my 7th graders.

Because I seem to be unable to write everything I'd like to, I'm just going to write a list of the things I have found interesting thus far:

1.) I did not experience any 1st day jitters. None!
2.) A large, stuffed teddy bear can do a lot to calm down energetic children.
3.) My largest class (40) is easier to contain than my 5th hour class (25).
4.) iPods are not the enemy.
5.) Students will still ask you the directions, even after you have had them repeat the steps back to you at least 3 times...
6.) Sometimes, it's more effective to just use a regular speaking voice than it is to yell.

Actually, let's talk about #6. Something crazy fascinating happened in my last hour, today. They were (understandably) unruly. We had a lot to get through, and 3/4 of the class was waiting on 1/4 of the chatty cathy's to shut up. So, instead of yelling, "Quiet down, folks!" I just started using my "normal" voice. I gave the directions, and then started reading the excerpt we were focusing on. The kids who wanted to hear me actually came and stood in a circle around me (a decision they made totally on their own). This really caught the attention of the kids who had been off task, and they came and joined the circle. Soon, everyone was silent and engaged - we were totally able to complete our learning goal.

So there you have it.
The kids are crazy, the expectations are high, and I am exactly where I am supposed to be.