Try, try again.

Recently, I've been trying much harder to be what I think an adult should be.
Rational.
Calm.
Educated.
Interesting.
Well Informed.
Cultured.
Collected.
Doesn't hold a grudge.
Organized.
As easy as it sounds to just "be" adult... it's not. I find that I have thin skin. Too thin to handle being a real adult. I feel (because I am) easily offended. I hold a mean grudge when I do hold a grudge (which isn't very often, but I do have one or two). I can be biting, mouthy, stubborn. None of these are adult qualities.

I feel hyper-emotional. Adults can't be hyper emotional. That's only for teenage girls.

I guess one thing I am is honest. I am here, after all, airing my flaws on the inter-web.

So what do I do about it? I almost feel like my ideal self would be un-moved. Have something mean to say? Doesn't matter, I can't feel. Going to do something you know is going to hurt my feelings? Whatever. See if I care.

Unfortunately - that's not me. I over analyze. I cry. I demand things. I even sometimes want to have control over a situation (also, not so often). I'm picky. I have a lot of questions. I'm not very patient. I hate being ignored. I sometimes even set myself up to be let down!

Doesn't sound like an adult, does it?
All I am is a mess! A young mess.