F is for Friends

Some things just aren't worth thinking about and it's taken me a while to figure that out.

I spend ... waste ... hours of my life worrying about things that no one else even blinks an eye at. And as selfish as it may seem to just cut certain things out of my life, I feel like it needs to be done.

I'm not certain if I'm just putting up a wall... or legitimately refusing to care about certain issues... but there are a few things that I'm brushing off of my shoulder and not looking back toward.

The thing that sucks the most (for you anyway) is that I'm not telling you what these things are - so you just get to use your pretty little imaginations.

Life is moving on...and I don't think I like it.

I'm only 21, but sometimes I feel much older. The majority of my friends are engaged, married and/or have children.

When I go through their photos I see how happy they are... and I am happy for them! I truly am... but it causes me to reflect a little on myself.

If they are 21 years old with 2 kids... am I doing something wrong? I mean, almost all of my friends didn't make it passed 20 years old without getting engaged/married.

Someone told me that I'm 2 million in Mormon years. That sucks.

On one note, I'm glad I'm not a mom right now. I've got school and goals to finish and a child would hinder a lot of that. I definitely want kids in the future, but I feel pressure to "get on with it" - to get married, to get babies...

Marriage is something that I do feel ready for though. Just putting that out there. I feel like if I keep refusing to acknowledge my desire to be married that it will just go away. I mean... I'm really excited for that day... I just wish I knew when it would be.

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I'm sure glad no one reads this.