I Am

I Am

I am too many things
I wonder how to compartmentalize each emotion
I hear the shuffling of my thoughts
I see blank spaces waiting to be filled
I want to be far away from where I am.
I am too many things

I pretend that I have control
I feel happy and sad, sure and unsure all at once.
I touch keys. computer keys. piano keys. car keys.
I worry that I may unintentionally hurt people
I cry because I miss Jamie
I am too many things

I understand that God gives us the answers.
I say that it's okay to feel your feelings outloud
I dream about eating with world class chefs.
I try to remember who I am
I hope that you don't mind my very elementary "I Am" poem
I am too many things



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The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days

Boundary Waters.

Imagination:

• Pronunciation: \i-ˌma-jə-ˈnā-shən\
• Function: noun
• Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin imagination-, imaginatio, from imaginari
• Date: 14th century

1 : the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality
2 a : creative ability b : ability to confront and deal with a problem : resourcefulness imagination and get us out of here> c : the thinking or active mind : interest imagination>
3 a : a creation of the mind; especially : an idealized or poetic creation b : fanciful or empty assumption

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There are some things that I am very private about. I don't tell people about my feelings about a lot of things, because so many people feel entitled to tell me how I should behave, act, feel, etc about certain things.

Instead, I opt to share things that aren't that close to home. For instance, I am a fan of Chef Ramsay because he is a loud, arrogant, hilarious, vulgar, brilliant chef. He is old! He is English! He is handsome. But God forbid I say that "I love Chef Ramsay." No no no! We live in a world of realism. Stop thinking, nikki! Stop! You MUST snap back into the real world.

NO. No, world. I won't. I will like,love,hate,enjoy,envy anything I want - real, fake, etc.

I mean, what comes next? A lecture on why I shouldn't date a Lutheran?

Shut the eff up. It's none of your business. If you can't keep things light hearted, friendly - or don't know how to communicate, then go away. I don't judge you, so stop judging everyone else.