Heads or Tails?

I have officially been teaching all by myself for a whole quarter. That's something like 43 days.

Today is a grading day because, naturally, quarter final grades are due. So, I'm back with funny student work to share.

First, I'll preface all this stuff with telling you that we read a novel in class called Finding Miracles. It was pretty good. Some students liked it more than others, but overall we were all able to connect with one character or another. Their quarter-final-assessment(s) were based on student choice. They were presented with 6 options and had to choose 2, and do one that was required. These things varied from "I am" poems to one pagers to mapping the story to short essays.

So, think of today's blog as a variety show of sorts. :)

Weirdest/most awkward questions asked to me this quarter:
Where to herpes come from?
What's an abortion?
Are Milly and Pablo (book characters) just hugging, or are they doing one of those "special-baby-making" hugs we learned about in science class?
Who are you voting for?
Do you like to go clubbing?

Most interesting things I over-heard this quarter:
- Finally! A teacher who understands our perspective.
- He paid me $20 to do his homework, but I failed it. Should I give the money back?
- I feel strangely attracted to (student name) when she's in a leotard.

Most unexpected reaction/s:
Me: Next quarter, we will be learning about the more technical aspects of writing - like grammar, spelling, paragraphs.
Class: Yes!!! (commence clapping and fist pumping).

Favorite misspellings:
Secret : Seakret
Learns : Leunns
Passionate : Passinate
Pablo : Poplo, Poblow
Adoption: Abdoption, Aboption

Favorite Mis-answered questions:
What is the resolution: Pablo and Milly start making out.

Pick any character (from any text) that you feel represents you. Who is this character? How are they similar to you?

- Juny B. Jones from the series Juny B. Jones. We are both funny and laid back about life.
- I am like the guy from The Fighter because of my brother.
- Green Lantern because him and me are both awesome.

Confessions made via homework:
* I'm tibetan.
* I'm adopted.
* I had surgery as a baby.
* When I got a cat, he made me wonder how I would be as a father.

Random pictures from the quarter:

Will They Know?

As a teacher in a city-school, I have my bakers dozen of kids that make me cry. They make me cry for different reasons. I cry when they exasperate me. I cry when they distract the class from learning. I cry when I think about the system that is failing them. I cry when they fail. I cry when they succeed. I cry when they cry.

Tonight, I have one young man in mind. I knew 5 weeks ago that this would be a student who I would cry over.

The first days, he was hesitant to do anything. I could see his frustrations with schoolwork boiling up into his eyes and spilling out in a variety of ways: tears, dancing and singing, throwing stuff, fighting. Everyday with this young man has been an absolute battle.

Two weeks ago, we had an open-notes quiz. He had all the notes in his binder, but they were so disorganized he didn't want to look through them. Slowly, we went through and pulled them all out and when he realized he had enough notes to get a B on the quiz, the biggest smile came across his face and he looked at me and said, "Oh. I can do this."

Yes, I thought. Yes - you can. You've always been able to do this. But for him to recognize that in himself was the key. It was a pivotal moment in our teacher-student relationship, and his relationship with his schoolwork.

Over the course of the next few days, he handed in all of his assignments. The effort he'd put into them was obvious, and he beamed at me as he handed them in.

"I bet these ones will be as good as my quiz!"

This young man is tender-hearted, but he's impulsive. Like most 12 year old boys, he acts before he thinks. He sees a friend in the hall, he's going to go to the hall. He feels like chatting with his buddy 6 rows over, he's going to get up and chat with his buddies. He hates the girl behind him? He is going to tell her, and when she comes back with "Boy, I'mma slap the shit out of you" he stands up and meets her request for battle.

This week, his impulsivity got the best of him.

5 weeks of piecing together the puzzle of this young man - so, so delicately - has been shattered. His eagerness and desire to please - to be included, to be heard in this world....those things took over.

He brought a knife to school. Kids were threatened.

It's heartbreaking. Just as we were making progress. Just as he was beginning to believe in himself, just as he was starting to understand that you can play the game of school without getting played yourself - that classrooms can be a place where we learn and grow and laugh and love and cry and live...

Over. Before it even started.

So I worry. I cry for him. I wonder - will there be another teacher in his future who will give him the time and space he needs to grow? Will they keep him in the classroom and let him know that he belongs there - not in the office? Will they let his behaviors keep him from learning?

Will they let his behaviors keep them from trying to teach him?

Sad-urday Morning.

It's really interesting how death can put a relationship into perspective. When Jamie died, it became very obvious to me how much we communicated - facebook, phone. I hadn't ever noticed when it was happening. He became a permanent presence in my life when I was 15. I forgot what life was like without him - so when he drove his motorcycle into Heaven on his way to school, it was a huge shock.

It was then that I noticed - it was then that I remembered - what an important figure he had become in my life. 

But with my grandma - she'd always been there. There hadn't ever been a time where she didn't exist for me. I came into her life, not the other way around. My whole life is almost entirely built upon a foundation that she created for her family.  But when she passed (in August), it didn't hit me like a freight train the way that Jamie's death did. 

Instead, it's been a slow process. Slow. Painful. Jamie's death was overwhelming in a way that fried my brain for a solid year. It was such a shock to the system that it changed the way I function - probably forever.

My grandma's death feels more like I'm being starved. 

Can I call grandma and tell her about the crazy muffins I made this week? No.

I'm so excited to see grandma this October. No, you're not. She's dead.

I'm sick in the middle of the night, I'm going to text her because I know she's awake. Not this time.

I hate myself, I hate my body and I hate everything I do. Grandma knows what to say. Nope.

I ate a giant meal. I should probably let Grandma know about it. She thinks I never eat... Still Nope.

I want to sit in Grandma's closet and listen to all the music boxes play at once. Never, ever, again.

It's amazing how many times in a week I forget that she's gone. I was there. I kissed her goodbye. I cried with my cousins. I comforted and was comforted. 

But there is a part of me that seems to be inconsolable. Something that rejects the attempts at comfort and refuses to accept that she's no longer living. An abusive little part of my heart that wants me to regularly relive the loss of her.

I don't like knowing what a huge part of my life I lost. It's true - you never know what you've got until it's gone. Especially when you've had it around you your whole life. 

Superlatives

I left school yesterday feeling pretty sick. Some virus has been hitting the students & teachers at Anthony pretty hard, and it is my turn.

But, even in my hour of illness, I found it absolutely essential to keep my promise to the students I taught at Armstrong - and so I put on my sweater and braved a high school football game. Well, part of one anyway. I left after an hour. I just stayed long enough for the kids to see me.

This morning, I'm paying for that little excursion. But it seems a teacher's work never ends because, despite the fever and the other stuff, I'm sitting on my floor surrounded by vocabulary story-quizzes and student research for the quarter final project.

And you know how I am...I hate to be selfish and keep these little gems of student work to myself. So I'm back...with some funny student stuff, and a short photo essay that illustrates my week. Enjoy.

*Weird side note: I told the students exactly how much work they needed to do for an a/b/c/d/f and it was amazing at how many students elected to get a b/c of their own free will! Especially because if they'd used one or two more words in context correctly, they'd have gotten an A....

Student Research:

Who are you researching? Ellen Degeneres
What have they done to make a positive change? Well, she's gay. So obviously she supports gay right.

Who are you researching? Abraham Lincoln
What have they done to make a positive change: Tried to end slavery (and kill every vampire in America).

Best one-liners from the vocab story-quizzes:

- Then all of a sudden my excitement abated when my friend got pissed.
- My sister and I were vexed by the malevolent George Bush.
- The malevolent and languid man, who was the epitome of a behemoth, woke up in his scintillating, yet derelict, house feeling vexed - though it was nebulous as to why; his ephemeral temper about this subject shortly abated when he got up, absconded with his roomates wallet and usurped the ring of power from Sauron.
(Yes, that 7th grader really wrote every word in one sentence).

Most common sentence used:
It was behemoth.

The music video we watched and analyzed this week (which became a huge hit and now my students walk around singing it):

The video that got the most smart phones taken away this week:


My week in photos:

Word of the Day: Languid

If you would have walked by my window at around 6 pm yesterday evening, you would have found me cross-legged on the floor, sobbing over a stubbed toe.

But the tears weren't really about the stubbed toe at all. I was crying because it was - as they say - the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'd had a rough day. Week...2 weeks. I've been having a rough few weeks. Your first year of teaching is no joke...

Anyway, yesterday I had a substitute teacher. The whole English department did! We were on a "data retreat" where we spent the whole day in a long meeting about MYP, IEP's, GTT, IB, FI...WTF? IDK.

In the afternoon, there was some planning time. So that was nice.

As I was saying, it was a long day. I walked away from it feeling this much more inadequate and that much more like I'm breaking all my students, and ever so slightly irked that my life has seemingly disappeared. School, home + chores, grading, sleep, school!

And then I stubbed my toe. I'd had enough! So I cried for an hour without being able to articulate why. In fact, I couldn't articulate anything at all.

So as you can imagine, I got ready for work this morning in a languid fashion. I was unsure of how I would reign in my already rambunctious kids after a day-long-party with a sub. But when I walked into my room, I was greeted with a blackboard filled with drawings like this:

(this one is actually a few days old, but I forgot to take pictures of the ones today).

They said things like, "We miss you Ms. Hansen - period 1" and "Tristen loves Ms. Hansen" and "we love you!" and "Ms. Hansen is the most awesome teacher ever."

When they actually arrived in classes I found out that the sub:
1.) called a student in first hour (my perfect class) a slut. uhm...what?
2.) made her own rules despite me leaving her our class norms.
3.) referred to herself as the rockstar sub.
4.) allowed students in 6th hour to get into a physical altercation that left other students feeling unsafe.

Needless to say, the students were happier than ever to see me. There were many requests that I "never, ever leave again."

Of course, they felt differently at the end of the hour. But that doesn't stop them from drawing hearts for me. <3 p="p">

Vocabulary Quiz

Best misused words:

I was afraid for a behemoth when I saw my friend's Halloween costume.
(In this case, "behemoth" was being used as "a short moment, fleeting.")

This test is scintillating.
(Scintillating is also being used as "a short moment, fleeting.")

I abate a lot.
(This one was just to be a punk. He knew the meaning of the word and decided to be a smart-aleck. )

I will scintillate this sentence.
(The word he was looking for was alliterate).

I had an idea but it epitomed out of my head.
(epitome : abscond).

Favorite misspelling:

jewels : gewls

To Teach

To remind myself why I'm doing this: