A Letter by Rosa

Hey friends,

My name is Rosa. I'm 6 years old, and I kind of look like a mop. Sometimes, it looks like I'm biting my lip like I'm unimpressed, but really...I'm just missing my teeth and I can't help it. At least I'm not like some of those other dogs who always have their tongues sticking out (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just not a look I feel like partaking in).

My snout is unreasonably small and velvety. I'm totally cool with you petting it. I also have long, floppy ears that scare me...and when I shake my head I think there are things flying around it. I try to catch them, but then I realize they are my ears...and I get really embarrassed.

This is me playing after getting scared by my ears:

Usually if that happens I'll go find a toy and start tossing it up into the air and chasing it so that no one knows I was afraid of my own ears. I like playing with stuffed mice and a tiny santa stocking. I also like my monster-puppy. If you touch it, I will give you a concerned look. Just because it's ugly doesn't mean it shouldn't be loved.

I went outside a few times today. It was warmer than the last two days...but it was stilly cold. I took a few steps, but then I sat down. My foster mom brought the piddle pad out with us, but I just looked at it. I am not sure why she thinks it would be fun for me to pee out there.

I mean, I don't see her doing the same.
I'm perfectly content with the piddle pad.
I also really like spending time in my bed....like...most of my time. But mom gets me out and tries to make me cuddle with her on the couch. I like this, too. I like being carried around more than anything, though. After a good "carrying" session, I run around with my tail wagging...I eat all my food, I smell the cats, and then I go back to bed.

Also, I snore. I've been told I sound like a person when I snore. They cats find this interesting, and they come to stare at me. I really like them, and tried to cuddle with them on the couch today...but they weren't interested. I hope they learn to like me soon because I think it'd be really nice for us to all hang out together.

Oh...I've been watching Vampire Diaries over the last few days. It's been cold and foster mom has had free time...my personal favorite is Damon. Whenever he comes on screen, I stop napping and look at the computer.

This is me watching Netflix:

I don't like it when people stand over me in a domineering manner, and I really like it if you call my name from another room so that I can run in there...but when I see you, I'll high tail it back to my bed and start throwing my toys around.

I really like my name, and I am confused whether or not I speak English or Spanish. Maybe both?
One thing I know is that I'm really happy, and I'm starting to feel really comfortable in this house with my people and cats.

Good night,
Rosa (AKA Rosita, CaluRosa, Rosalina, Rosalinda, RosaChica)

Play Day

All the awesome things Rosa has been up to today, in list form:
Todas las cosas extraordinarias Rosa ha hecho hoy (en una lista):

1. Playing, playing, playing. Jugar, jugar, jugar. She plays with the toys in her bed, she looks at you like she wants to play and then runs away. Today has been a very playful day! Ella le gusta jugar con sus juguetes o te mira como si quisiera jugar (pero se escapa si quieres jugar con ella). Hoy ha sido un día de juegos!

2. Eating her food. Also - despite the fact that she's missing half her teeth, she prefers kibbles to wet food. Rosita ha estado comiendo su comida....y a pesar de perder la mayoría de sus dientes, Rosa prefiere comer "kibbles" a "wet food." Lo siento, no sé cómo hablar sobre la comida de perros en español. 

3. Cuddling with a specific stuffed monster as if it is her own puppy. She picked this ugly monster, and she just loves it. She cuddles it, carries it, hides it. It's her little monster. Rosa ha estado apapachando su juguete favorito...un monstruo. Piensa que este monstruo feo es su propio perrito. Lo lleva, lo oculta, lo apapacha...

4. Snoring and sleeping and snoring. Rosita likes to sleep, and when she sleeps deeply...she snores. It's awesome (and super cuuuute). También, Rosa ronca! Rosa duerma, ronca, duerma otra vez...y mientras está durmiendo...está roncando. Es demasiado liiiindo.

And now for a photo (notice the monster-baby):
Y ahora, su foto - Rosa y su monstruo:

Rosa the Explorer.

Si quieres leer en español, mira más abajo.

Rosa's morning wasn't a very good one. She didn't want to eat, she didn't want to come out of the confines of her kennel. She didn't want to explore. She just wanted to hide.

And she hadn't eaten in almost a day, and hadn't used the bathroom by 12. Since she has had a slight infection, this worried me greatly. With the help of the rescue and a friend, I was able to get her in to the vet.

This funny dog loves the car.
This funny dog loves the vet!

When we got there, she acted like nothing was wrong. Of course. The vet felt around and decided that she may have a small gut infection/issues with digestion because of her surgery (her spay was coupled with a hernia surgery), and the antibiotics which kill the good bacteria.

She's on a medicated food now, with a probiotic.
She finally used the bathroom, too.

But here's all the real good news: when we came home from the vet, Rosa was in such a good mood she bursted from her kennel as soon as the door opened. With her tail wagging at full speed, she trotted all around the apartment - greeted the cats, smelled everything, climbed behind and over things.

She even will look if you call her name, but she won't come over to you. That's a trust thing, and we'll get there.

For now, she's very comfortable in her new home. She's decided to claim it as her own, and that is a huge success. And the vet gave her a pedicure...so she's had a great day.

Oh, and she has not 1...not 2...but 3 new toys which she cuddles with in her kennel (the kennel top is no longer on, so it's more like a bed).

It's only been a few days, but she's progressing in leaps and bounds!
Here are the things that we need the most work on:
[ ] trust of humans - as in not being so hand shy, and approaching us as opposed to us approaching her (although right now she's totally spooning my leg while we chill on the couch). She also won't eat if human beings are in the room with her. The cats, though? No probs.

[ ] house breaking - she uses the piddle pads consistently...no off-piddle-pad-accidents...but the outdoors are cold and new and different and distracting, and she's not totally sure she wants to do her business out there yet.

Otherwise, she's great and not giving me much to write about!
She did want me to post her pictures for you guys (and a video, too). She does enjoy having her photo taken. See below for photo documentation of Rosa's adventures today.

Rosa waiting for the vet.

Rosa está esperando el veterinario.

 Rosa en su cama.
Rosa in her bed. 

Rosa the explorer!

Rosa la exploradora!

Español (es mejor que inglés):

Rosa no tenía una buena mañana. No quería comer, quería quedarte en su perrera. No quería explorar...solo quería esconderse.

A las 11, todavía no había comido ni usado el baño...y porque ha tenido una infección por su cirugía, sus incapacidades de comer y hacer popo/pipi me dio miedo. Pero, con la ayuda de la gente con Second Hand Hounds, podía llevarla al veterinario.

Mi perrita graciosa le gusta mucho el carro.
Mi perrita graciosa también le gusta la oficina del veterinario!

Cuando llegamos a la oficina, ella actuó como si estuviera completamente saludable. Por supuesto.
El veterinario hizo una examen y me dije que Rosita tenía problemas a causa de su cirugía y las drogas. Ahora, tenemos comida especial...
También (y finalmente) Rosa ha hecho las cosas del cuerpo.

Pero aquí están las buenas noticias que he querido compartir con ustedes: después de la aventura al vet, cuando regresamos a la casa, ella dejó su perrera y corrió sobre la casa - quería oler cosas y conocer a los gatos.

Rosita sabe su nombre, pero todavía no quiere venir cerca de mi.... pobre Rosa y sus problemas de confianza.
Yo estaba muy feliz para verla más o menos cómoda en su casa nueva - con su familia nueva. Rosa ha decidido que aceptar su hogar...

Oh, y mi perrita afortunada recibió una pedicura....y 3 juguetes nuevos! Ella le gusta apapacharlas en su cama. <3 nbsp="" p="">
Aunque ella ha progresado, tenemos cosas en que necesitamos trabajar:
[ ] necesita tener más confianza en mi y mi marido...tiene miedo de los humanos en general, y necesita aprender que nadie va a dañarla otra vez. (Esto digo mientras estamos apapachando el en sillón).
[ ] necesita aprender cómo hacer sus cosas del baño en el patio - todavía el viento y la nieve y las ardillas y los coches dan miedo a Rosita. Puede usar sus toallas de entrenamiento sin problema - y eso me da esperanza.

Mi Rosita estará muy bien. Ya está haciendo mejoras grandes!  

Rosa is Hogging the Good Space Heater.

Scroll down for English. 

Rosa es similar a un bebé. Se despierta de buen humor y quiere socializar....desafortunadamente, esto sólo dura 5 minutos. Pienso que se despierta feliz y después de 5 minutos recuerda todas las cosas malas del mundo.

La única cosa Rosa necesita temer es el invierno.
Oh, invierno.

La nieve y el hielo y el viento hacen que Rosa tenga miedo. Nunca ha experimentado viento ni hielo ni la naturaleza en general. No podía sentir el viento en su jaula.

A pesar de todo, Rosita ha tenido 3 éxitos hoy.
1. 5 minutos de alegría
2. Usó el baño en el patio [pienso que realmente Rosa tenía miedo y también un accidente, pero tomaré lo que Rosita me dará].
3. Conoció a su nuevo amigo de Facebook: Bali.

También han sido cosas con menos éxito...como el hecho que Rosa no ha comido desde esta mañana.

Hemos apapachado mucho, pero todavía prefiera esconderse en la perrera.
Oh --- y anoche bañé a Rosita!! No le gustaba mucho, pero realmente necesitaba ser bañado.
Ahora, intentaré a alimentarla otra vez...

Rosita quiere su privacidad...
Rosa wants her privacy...

Rosa y yo después de su aventura en el patio.
Rosa and me after her bathroom experience in the yard!

English!

So, Rosa reminds me of a baby. This morning when I woke up, I went over to see her and she was sleeping. When she woke up and saw me, she was instantly happy...wagging her tail, accepting being pet. But, after 5 minutes...it was like she was reminded of everything terrible in the world. She resigned herself again, and decided she'd had enough for the day.

Oh, Rosa! Don't you know you have nothing to fear!? Except for the winter...stupid winter. All the snow and wind and ice really freak her out. And that's no big surprised. Living your whole life in a cage, I highly doubt you experience much of the weather...and you definitely don't do much walking around in it.

But despite her resignation and apprehension, Rosita has 3 successes today:
1.) She woke up happy
2.) She used the bathroom outside once! She was nervous and cold, but she did it. She hasn't repeated this yet...but a success is a success and we have to celebrate them.
3.) She made a friend on Facebook. She has a penpal now; he's a dog named Bali who lives in Mexico. He's my friend's dog...and she enjoyed sending him messages earlier this afternoon.

And, of course, there have been less successful occurrences today - her appetite hasn't been great (although it seems to be picking up now), and she's preferred to to hide away in the kennel (but while I've been writing this, she's been wandering around, huffing and puffing).

We got a lot of good cuddling in today, too. That's never bad.

Oh -- and last night, Rosa got a bath! We had to cut a few dreads off of her...and she didn't exactly love being bathed, but she tolerated it....and desperately needed it. She's definitely come a bit more out of her shell since then (although the two things may not be related at all).

Who knows what tomorrow will bring us...

Rehabilitating Rosa

Hay una traducción en español más abajo...

I need things to write about. When I was in Mexico, my writing had direction and purpose. The mundanities of life are only interesting up to a point. There's only so much you can do to make your routine sound exciting. Without street artists and zocalos...well, I've got nothing to tell you but stories of scraping the windshield or running on the treadmill.

Enter Rosa.

Some of you may know that Matt and I have fostered various animals through Second Hand Hounds. It's been challenging, sometimes heartbreaking, but always worth it and always rewarding. If you have space in your home for a foster animal, I highly recommend you try it out.

Rosa is a 6 year old Shih Tzu. She's black, with a little white beard and white spot on her chest. She spent her life as a breeding dog in a puppy mill. This means a dirty cage, limited contact with people or other animals, etc. If you want to know more about the tragedy of puppy mills, I highly recommend you check this out: http://www.prisonersofgreed.org/

As one might expect, she is very shy - resigned to the fact that she has no choice in the things that come her way. She has a million mile stare that lets us know she's got her mind on something else, something that we cannot understand.

But Rosa is about to become accustomed to the life she deserved to have all along.
And I'm going to blog about it, day by day.
Join us in the milestones Rosa reaches by tuning in....starting now:

Last night, Rosa had no interest in coming out of her kennel. We've set up a safe, enclosed area for her to wander when she feels comfortable {and to help with the housebreaking she needs}. She was (and is) hand shy, noise shy, world shy.

She didn't even have any interest in food.
Until we put it by the kennel entrance. She was willing to stick her head out a few inches to eat.

And she did come out during the night to use the piddle pad. Excellent!

This morning, she requested her breakfast be served kennel-side again...
After that, I wrapped her in a blanket (it keeps her calm) and snuggled her on the couch for a while. She's absolutely terrified of going outside, and the plan is to slowly introduce her to the fact that 1.) humans can be friendly and 2.) the outdoors are a dog's best friend!

So, today we started with cuddling on the couch with the blanket (while wearing the collar)...and cuddling while standing outside with the blanket (also collared).

But there is something I've been eager to share...I've been writing this post for the sole purpose of telling the world that...after 4 cuddle sessions...when I went to put Rosa back in her bachelorette pad, I filled up her food and....

she came out of her kennel to eat it!!!

She also wagged her tail today. Twice.
I hope to see that little tail wagging a lot more in the coming days.

Rosa and I snuggling on the couch. She enjoys watching Hulu and sending emails to her friends.

Rosa y yo estamos apapachando. Ella le gusta ver Hulu y enviar emails a sus amigos. 

En español:

Me gusta escribir, pero no sin razón. Cuando estaba en México, podía escribir con dirección y propósito. Las cosas rutinarias sólo son interesantes hasta un punto. Sólo puedo hacer tantas cosas para engañarte que mi vida realmente es interesante. Pero...sin vendedores y el zócalo...bueno, no tengo nada para decir a menos que quieras saber sobre mis aventuras en el gimnasio o con el hielo en la ventana de mi carro.

Pero ahora, tengo la perrita Rosa.

Probablemente ya sabes que Matt y yo hemos tenido muchos animales orfanatos y/o abandonados y/o abusados en nuestro cuidado. Ha sido difícil, gratificante, a veces muy triste...pero siempre una buena experiencia. Si tienes el espacio en tu casa para "foster" un animal, lo recomiendo mucho.

Rosa tiene 6 años. Tiene pelo negro con una barba blanca y también hay blanco en su pecho. Ha vivido toda su vida en una jaula...sin contacto con gente, otros animales. Ha tenido 36+ perritos pero nunca porque ella los quería. Ella estaba una perra de cría. La jaula estaba muy sucia, y nunca antes había caminado por el suelo. Nunca. Si quieres saber más sobre la vida de perros en "puppy mills" (las fábricas de perros), visita a esta página: http://www.prisonersofgreed.org/

Puedes imaginar pasar tu vida en una jaula? :[

No es una sorpresa que Rosa es muy tímida. Ella ha sido abusada, y puedo ver en sus ojos la tristeza y miedo que tiene. Pero, poco a poco está aprendiendo sobre la manera la vida debe ser.

Y voy a "blog" sobre sus aventuras y experiencias cada día. Y voy a empezar....ahorita.

Anoche, Rosa no quería salir de su perrera. Construí un espacio pequeño y seguro en caso de que ella quiera caminar un poco (y para ayudar con su entrenamiento). Ella parecía tímida, asustada...no quería comer...nada.

Sólo quería quedarse en su perrera...y sólo quería comer si la comida estaba muy cerca a la perrera...
Pero, durante la noche, ella usó la "piddle pad" --- algo para permitir perritos y perros sin entrenamiento usar el baño sin destruir la casa.

Esta mañana, ella sólo quería comer en su perrera (otra vez). Después de comer, la envolví a Rosa en una manta (porque la manta ayuda con el miedo) para apapacharla. Ella tiene mucho miedo de humanos y de la naturaleza...y voy a apapacharla en fases...en el sillón, en el patio...y eventualmente (lo siento pero quería usarla) voy a ponerla en el suelo.

Poco a poco.

Pero, tengo algo que decir....porque he querido decirlo a alguien todo el día...
Hoy, después de apapachar Rosita en el patio, cuando la puse en su "departamento"...ella decidió a comer fuera de su perrera!

También ella se movió su cola -- dos veces! Espero que verla con más alegría mañana, y el día después...y después...

We Will Call it Jan 7

This violent episode begins innocently enough;

a game of tag between shades of blue, 

which batter and bruise each other into 

deep shades of purple.
What appear at first like surface injuries become

internal bleeding; capillaries burst -

blood red fireworks which bleed and bleed

until the crimson blood runs black, 

a coagulated scab of a sky

which will be picked off come morning - 

a vicious cycle of abuse 

called sunset. 

---- 

Life: 

The engines on the Bombardier 700 falter, and the passengers hearts begin beating in time, 

a collective jolt and we've lost seconds of our lives - which we acknowledge as we meet each other's gazes:

Are you afraid?

Are you?

The oddly all-male flight crew moves through the cabin with poker faces. 

If I die, I will die writing. 

If I die, I will die editing these words. 

Funny, how we do not think about the fact that we are alive until that screaming, terrified heart in your chest reminds you that - 

things fall.
things fail. 

Everything is temporary. 

Ring Like Silver, Ring Like Gold - Ring Out Those Bells.

At the very beginning of 2013 I decided to write out a "List of Champions" instead of doing a "New Years Resolution." I figured that a list of champions would give me goals to strive for, ways to better myself, ways to reconstruct my reality. "Be the change..." ya know?

I'm so glad I did that.

In the last year, my life has completely changed. Completely. The way I understand myself and others has changed. The way I experience the world around me has changed.

And I can really say I'm proud of myself for allowing me to grow into this person I am (becoming).

Al principio del año (2013) había decidido escribir "una lista de campeones" en lugar de una "resolución del año nuevo." Pensaba que una lista de campeones me daría cosas para intentar a alcanzar - maneras para mejorarme, para reconstruir mi realidad. "Hacer el cambio..." sabes?

Y estoy muy muy alegre que lo hizo. 

Durante el año, mi vida ha cambiado completamente. Completamente. La manera en que entiendo mí misma, y cómo pienso sobre la gente y el mundo - cómo interactúo con el mundo - ha cambiado. 

Y puedo decir que me siento orgullosa de mí misma para permitir este crecimiento. 

I think as adults we become so comfortable in our thought processes, in the ways that "we are." We don't want our thoughts or belief systems challenged. We don't want to venture to unknown and uncomfortable places. We are who we are, and we don't want to change.

I'm not okay with that. That's part of the reason why I'm making sure that 2013 was just the very strange first chapter to hopefully a fully complete, challenging, and even stranger life.

Push my boundaries. And I'll be sure to return the favor.

Pienso que, como adultos, estamos cómodos en nuestros procesos de pensamientos - en las maneras "somos." No queremos cambiar o desafiar nuestros pensamientos o sistemas de creencia. No queremos explorar cosas nuevas o lugares incómodos. Somos quien somos, y no queremos cambiar.

No me gusta esta idea. Y, por esta razón, estoy haciendo segura que 2013 esta el primer capitulo (capitulo extraño) para una vida - mi vida - compleja, estimulante, y aún más extraña. 

Me desafías - y estaré segura para devolver el favor. 

I want to say so much more about what I've experienced this year, but I feel like it's going to be too much. I'll share one little way I've changed, and maybe every week I'll share a little more and we'll see where we end up.

This year, I've become much more transparent. Maybe it's a culmination of everything that has happened in the last few years, or maybe it's the great experiences I had during this one - but I'm ready for the world to hear and see me. I'm still kind of timid, but I'm no longer willing to backdown or have my voice run-over.

I recognize that my thoughts and feelings are important and relevant. Even as a woman. Even as a daughter. Even as whatever thing you want to make me.

And, like always, I will constantly remind you that yours are too.
For example, this year I was transparent about no longer adhering to or believing in the church I was born and raised in. It was scary.

Discomfort results in growth. I'm going to be a freakin' garden. :)

Quiero decir mucho más sobre lo que he experimentado - pero, siento como va a ser demasiado. Compartiré una manera pequeña en que he cambiado ...y quizá cada mañana vaya compartir un poco más y...vamos a ver donde terminamos.

Este año, me he convertido más transparente. Quizá sea una culminación de todas las cosas que han ocurrido durante los últimos 2 o 3 años, o quizá sea las experiencias excelentes he tenido durante 2013, pero estoy lista para el mundo verme y escucharme. Todavía estoy un poco tímida pero ya no puedo tolerar ser ignorada. 

Reconozco que mis pensamientos y sentimientos son importantes y relevantes - incluso como una mujer - incluso como una hija - incluso como cualquier cosa me quieras poner. 

Y, como siempre, voy a recordarte - constantemente - que los tuyos estén importantes y pertinentes también.  

Por ejemplo, este año yo estaba abierta sobre el hecho que ya no creo en la iglesia de mi infancia y juventud. Tenía mucho miedo. 

Pero, la incomodidad resulta en el crecimiento. Y por lo tanto voy a ser un jardín :) 

Please wait patiently as I come up with my 2014 list of champions.
And don't worry, more stories are on the horizon.

Por favor, espérame mientras pienso en mi nueva lista de campeones. 
Y no te preocupes - más historias están en el horizonte.