You open up to the world, tell everyone "Hey! I'm afraid! I'm insecure about this thing!" and what does the world do? It kicks you when you're down.
I recently blogged about how I so badly want people to view me as their intellectual equals. Well, I guess that was the wrong thing to say because....today I got my MTLE Content Area Exam scores. I passed part one.
I failed part two.
Let it be known that I am mortified. Absolutely horrified. I am devastatingly embarrassed.
Sure, tests may not in any way be an accurate measure of someone's knowledge, but that doesn't matter a whole lot because, at the end of the day, the tests are still what matter. They count. Those tests decide what and who I get to be. And, right now, I get to be the one who had to take it x amount of times. I'm the one who, despite having a degree in the field, can't pull it together enough to get the minimum score. So yeah - tests may suck, but I am still the one left feeling like a complete idiot because I couldn't choose the right.freaking.answer.
So, I guess this is just life's way of telling me I am truly intellectually inferior. And, if not intellectually inferior, I'm still the world's worst test taker.
If I'm still allowed to become a teacher someday, I am going to make sure to do this to make sure my students never, ever fail a test:
